I did not enjoy my UTI “concept.”

that a research group with ties to the Democrat Party ran

Best first date of my life - we met for lunch on a patio, she had a couple of margaritas, when a bro-dozer drove past rolling coal she stood up and screamed “you’ve got a tiny penis” at it. I fell a little bit in love.

Unfortunately, it turned out that two margaritas was kind of a light appetizer to her daily alcohol…

Apparently coxswains are in the 120 pound range - presumably I fuck up the team’s chances coming in heavier. I think I could lose 120 pounds in 4 years if it was a matter of survival but I also think I might rather be dead. 

Perhaps Amazon should pay enough to make his job worth the effort.

“In 1990, Fralic revealed to Sports Illustrated’s Peter King that he had used steroids while at Pitt.”
Looking at that shirtless pic I’m shocked. Shocked, I say!

Fantastic decision on their parts, I skipped through half to two-thirds of each episode after the first season.

Guillotine them all, turn the Broncos into a worker-owned co-op.

So he was busted by a lesser piece of shit who was out to defend garbage human Greg Hardy?

A giant meteor can’t come soon enough.

I didn’t know anything about Indian weddings until a friend of a friend was getting ready to go home for his, which was apparently going to last for a full week or so (wealthy family). On one hand I was jealous because it sounds amazing, on the other it sounds like the most stressful week possible - I wouldn’t even…

Some debts can result in wage garnishment. Even if they can’t, in the interim your credit is ruined - far beyond “oh well, can’t buy a house, wasn’t going to do that anyway” this raises your car insurance rates in many states, makes it more troublesome to rent and a poor credit score can make it more difficult to even…

In the 90s I’d see ads at the back of car magazines for two engine Cadillacs, a V8 Northstar front and back.

My favorite is the guy who had to get breast implants and keep them for a year for $100k. 

I’m bummed, I was looking forward to roaming around the countryside killing Pinkertons with carefree ease for 2-3 hours a week. I have neither the time nor the inclination for this grinding bullshit.

The death penalty for all of college football would be good for the world. 

Isn’t it all just programming aimed at tweens? I guess parents drew the line at paying more than Netflix money for their kids to stare at iPads for two extra hours a day.

Good.

I worked out a deal for my mom to trade in her terrible Chevy crossover and my dad’s terrible Ram Hemi (both with payments) and walk out with a Soul Turbo. It’s a great little car - the DCT is a bit jumpy in traffic until you get used to it but not bothersome, it’s reasonably agile for something that can carry so…

So that, especially the last exchange, is the first time I’ve kind of gotten the appeal of pro wrestling. Put an Irish and a Scottish accent on the shit talking and it’s way more entertaining than the Rock.

Key difference: homeless people die every day from being homeless - ie exposed, malnourished, etc..

Now, how many “food-borne illness” pandemics have been caused by organizations feeding the homeless?