A celebration worth the inevitable fine.

I had to disable my ad blocker to see Gawker Media comments today and my god this site gives you cancer without an ad blocker.

“Guaranteed” money doesn’t mean he gets paid no matter what, it just means money the team would owe him if they cut him - there is zero chance Davis played one half and will walk away with $3.5mn.

If a player in a sport with guaranteed contracts retires for non-medical reasons, they don’t keep collecting their…

It meant “asshole, dickhead, etc” because of the association with homosexuality, dipshit.

Every man loves a blowjob, right? Yet cocksucker is an insult... it’s almost like the insinuation of gay sex is the actual root. Weird, huh?

To be fair, that’s a great color.

One day, Hamno, you’ll realize that the rich are just the players on our team who were born rich and took full advantage of that, fucking over millions of people in the process.

My favorite part of Ballers is the awkwardness of The Rock’s sex scenes. Clearly this guy fucks and every woman I know wants to fuck him but his PG-13 movie career did not train him for HBO nudity.

Go back to ancient Greece, Xena.

Pinkerton is completely unlistenable in 2018. The Blue Album is better but its merits are diminished by hearing it nine million goddamn times.

Much as I loved it at the time, so much post-grunge alt-rock just sounded boring. No weirdness, boring rhythms. I’d rather hear Cake or the Ben Folds Five at this point.

Also give us the option to hide people who play this shit permanently. 

That booth was the worst announcing crew I’ve ever heard. 

I believe every word of this (except maybe the lawyer wanting to bone Rick Pitino, I don’t think anyone wants to see Rick Pitino’s shriveled balls) - but all it tells me is that a bunch more horrible people involved in making horrible pizza need to lose their jobs. 

To make those choices in life, there has to be deep damage. If you cannot feel empathy for that, then you’re not a human being.

Now, the Russians have a simpler philosophy - If I shoot you, you die. If you die, you can’t be patched back up and sent in after me again. Which is why they use the 7.62x39mm caliber, something that is capable of taking down white-tail deer.

Gross and inaccurate generalities, yes.

Oh good, sensitive bros playing “Wonderwall” will be unavoidable everywhere.

Maybe if Ford had gotten this treatment, he wouldn’t have been able to widely publish The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Which is to say, beat down rich people every chance you get, it’s usually good for the world.

Fuck you, Drew, I just downloaded Solitaire Grand Harvest.