Screw all that work.

I'm not sure how this thought process renders the Bentley driver superior to those middle managers.

As hard as it is to understand the wretched people who torture servers for no reason, it's actually more difficult to understand the people who dine with them. If you're a dick to a server or bartender, you're off the list of people I'll go out with.

I grew up around a comic book/game chain and was a weird little shit - so I was setting up at flea markets with my grandparents when I was 11-12 selling sports cards (grandma sold costume jewelry). That expanded to comic books and Magic, then all came crashing down when we came to the flea market on Sunday morning to…

I like to troll my hockey nut friends by calling it ice soccer. Which isn't fair because soccer is actually much more exciting.

It's the old Hemingway line about confusing movement for action.

Tweakers are the worst, self-righteous Jesus freaks are the worst - throw them in the Vitamix and you've got this asshole. Every time he strikes out or does something stupid it makes me giggle.

The Tweets are bitching about the interruption of their wacky Criminal Minds-Moonlighting hybrid Castle (note: never actually seen an episode, but that's the impression I get from the commercials), not Firefly.

I feel like this sums up the futility of the early '90s Mavericks better than I ever thought possible.

In the course of the season he'd throw in the bullpen in a couple of days, right? Why not just put him in as a reliever instead?

I'm not that fond of drug testing in general, nor recreational drug testing at all... but it's kind of nice to see a football coach hold players accountable for pretty much anything.

I've always assumed Henry was asexual like Morrissey, just without being so fucking annoying.

I can't find anything about this song or Jenny Morrison - can anyone help a brother with an appreciation for saddo female singer-songwriters out?

We all know why the NFL doesn't care - violence sells. People want to see receivers get laid out over the middle by two DBs coming from different angles, because we're essentially savages (on the whole).
Doesn't change the fact that the NFL has systematically profited from the mayhem while lying about and covering up…

I was always ambivalent about the Cowboys (grew up a 49ers fan), though amused by their post-Jimmuh ineptitude but I've started to become actively hostile to them because of local sports radio. Middle of May? Cowboys talk. Middle of June? Cowboys talk. September? Time for Jerry's radio show. Daily livecasts of the…

Hannibal Buress on point about Molly:

He can hit, he can play defense in his home park, he's smarter than any of us give him credit for-lost in the hullaballoo over his off-day comments was that he was absolutely, without a doubt, correct-and he seems to love playing baseball. He's almost a bright-line test for humankind; if you just divided the world…

Ironically, I've completely lost interest in American football because of game-length and all of this wonderful time between plays being used mostly to show me the same fucking beer commercials 4000 times per game.

I appreciate that the other guy handled it like he lost a $5 buy-in game at his buddy's house.

I regret watching that video more than I regret anything I've clicked on the Internet. The fuck was wrong with me that I did?

Why is it so hard to believe that this is real enmity? Worse gets said between football players all the time - Jefferson/Crabtree? These are guys paid to punch each other in the face repeatedly, not hard to believe that sometimes there's real anger there.