I’ve been trying to distract myself for the past several days. It’s been rough, but I know that’s what I need to do to keep my mind off of this. I’m watching How to Get Away with Murder right now, and it’s doing a pretty good job. I need to watch strong independent women right now! My poodle is helping too. I’ve had…

I’m starting to wonder if my irrational fear is linked to an issue I had in a past relationship. This is only my second serious relationship, and my other one was with a man who was really emotionally unstable. Once after a fight, he threatened to commit suicide and then purposefully ignored my calls and texts to make…

I know you’re right and I’m definitely experiencing the detox symptoms. Flu-like nausea, tired and sore all over. I know we shouldn’t see each other or be around each other right now until this all goes away. I just want a text or an email to know that he’s okay.

In my mind, I know that he can. It’s just so hard to go from wanting to spend my life with him, to having to pretend like I don’t care that he’s in pain! Last week, I thought we were going to move in together and was convinced he was my life partner, and now we’re supposed to be nothing to each other. It was all so…

We aren’t and we don’t. We spent time with each other’s friends, but I never did so independently and didn’t communicate with his friends outside of hanging out with them around my ex. I would literally have no way of knowing if something bad happened, and that’s so scary!

I don’t feel like I need reassurance that we made the right decision. I know we did, and honestly, we made the only decision that was possible for our situation. I just want to know that he’s okay.

Breakup thread?

I agree completely, and I definitely don’t believe these ads or ones like them should be on display publicly. However, I also believe that most of what France does to deal with inequality just masks the problem. It’s as though they think, “If we don’t see it, if it’s no longer visible, it’s not there and is no longer…

Thank you! I spent some time doing research in Paris and had a hard time explaining to people back home what I found so troubling about French society and men in particular. On an individual level, I dealt with horrific levels of mansplaining, but I couldn’t figure out how to explain the problem with the entire…

That’s really tough. I felt a few pangs of sadness when I found out that my ex, who I was with for over three years, got married. However, by that point, I fully accepted and believed that I was much better off without him. Now I just hope that he’s changed for his wife’s sake.

Me too! As I was reading, I thought about how interesting a film adaptation could be with a selection of the stories strung together. The Mark of Cain, Break All the Way Down, Strange Gods... so many of Gay’s stories were already vivid and film-like in my imagination!

I haven’t read White Teeth yet. I’d heard it is generally considered to be better than Swing Time, but I’m a old musical fan and decided to read that one first. It was very good, but I think I liked the other two books I mentioned more. I enjoy Smith’s writing and the story she constructed, but I wasn’t left with real…

These weren’t really published all that recently, but I just finished The Girls, Swing Time, and Difficult Women. I would recommend all of them, but particularly the latter, especially if you’re a fan of short stories. Most of you have probably heard of or read Swing Time, but in case you have heard of The Girls, it’s…

There are so many variables that this stupid worthless “report” does not take into consideration. The skill of the actors, their ages, their level of attractiveness, their background, level of experience, public opinion, education level, etc., etc., etc. In addition, the test audience is hardly representative of the…

Ummm, I’m white and I deeply love this song and have since I was a child. I have vivid memories of dancing around to it like maniacs with my sister. HOWEVER, we did not listen to the Donny Hathaway version. We always listened to The Temptations cover, which is more fun to dance to.

But is it right that in two of the last five elections, the person who won the popular vote was not elected president? Personally, I no longer see the point of an electoral college. I believe we’ve moved past its necessity as a country, and that the election should be decided strictly by popular vote. Not supporting…

As a white woman, I agree. There are many reasons why Trump won, but a big one is that white women supported him. But what bothers me about what you’ve written is that you don’t ask why. You conclude that it’s because we are collectively selfish, are concerned only with self-preservation, and maintaining our…

We’re both broke-ish grad students and I’m not a believer in traditional dating conventions, so I’ve never expected him to pay for me and he never has. We take turns cooking for each other, and that’s really the only caring gesture I can think of that he does for me regularly. I definitely feel I put more effort and…

On one of our first dates, he asked me if I’m the kind of woman who would enjoy receiving cut flowers. Personally, I’m not a fan, because to me they symbolize death and destruction of beauty. Why get something pretty that’s going to die in a week? I told him I’d much prefer a living plant, a succulent, cactus, herbs,…

You and your silly truth-telling. Thank you. I needed to read that and admit it to myself.