can their new features make him fat and bald already?! jesus.

when are they gonna roll out the feature that keeps facebook from suggesting my ex-fiance’s new (like, NEW new) wife as “someone i might know”?

send some college kids with ustream accounts down too to livestream it all

So Tim got frustrated with the designers, because the assignment involved every day people (horrors!) and the designers were too snotty to produce something workable?

I’m a pizza supremecist.

but

Jesus Christ if people don’t know what humanism is they should stop using the word. Yes even you Meryl.

I’m shocked and amazed that a CEO actually got convicted of something, anything in this country. I hope this is the beginning of a trend.

Sounds like they’re all in a jam.

#thief #brilliant #prince #pig #instalike #picoftheday #instagood #sky #babies #hotchicks #dogs #igers #followme

NO. Do you not understand how art works or something?

Maybe™

Question...do you guys think that the people closest to celebrities with stage names call them by their real name? Or like, only if they knew them before they got famous? Like, I’m sure Rihanna’s mom calls her Robyn still, especially in private, but like what about childhood friends? Romantic partners? What does Chris…

Meh. Still not as funny as when fetish magazine “O” sued Oprah for copyright infringement and lost.

I'm actually really angry at gchat losing to fucking memes. Who are you monsters????????

Or we could leave strangers alone. I just don't feel it's my place to tell anyone I don't know to consider altering their facial expression. You also don't know their situation. For me, I glare because I'm squinting to see, no one needs to tell me what's up.

Love it!

Left shark approves.

And yet you know when Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, and Bill Cosby die, those fuckers will not only be included in the In Memoriam segment but will have goddamn laser shows accompanied by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir...