I can’t imagine someone saying “We won’t need to broadcast this on a time delay at all!”

That guy is the living embodiment of the name “Josh.”

The contract is for three years and comes with plenty of Percs.

Police left after discovering that “burglary” is just what Gronkowski calls a cookout.

Yeah, but I bet he gives his son bullshit kisses on the cheek.

It didn’t even cross my mind that it *wasn’t* supposed to say fucktomb until I saw that.

“Hotel and a pool.”

This is like something Frank Reynolds would make someone do. “I got him to eat a shit sandwich!”

Tide commercial?

“My husband can’t throw and catch the ball at the same time” -Gisele

Back in 1997 I was out in LA visiting a friend. She got us 2 tickets to screen a movie. Free! Popcorn and soda included. BEFORE the movie started while in line, some dude with a camera asked me to plug the movie. Remember, free popcorn and soda. “It was GREAT! I’m gonna see it again!” I said. The movie was so bad I…

WADA bunch of amateurs.

I realize that few people start out their lives aiming to become a villain, it happens by degrees. You go to law school thinking you’ll be the next Atticus Finch defending the defenseless. You face the reality that you have to work for a big law firm to pay your bills. You wind up representing people who can pay…

“- Safety - If you read travel blogs, most crimes that happen to tourists are crimes of theft, usually in the form of pickpockets, who are criminals of opportunity. If you look like a tourist, you will more likely be targeted, than if you look like someone on business. A good sports coat, helps one blend in,…

And of those 6 arrests, 3 were for scalping tickets. This is the point where someone mentions snowballs from 1968 and thinks they’re killing it with their hot taek.

Eye-patch guy acquitted himself in the manner you’d expect.

Big Dick Nick is going to be the new hoagie special at Wawa.

The Gang Goes to a Playoff Game

Crisco Cops? Really? Was “Grease Police” too obvious here?

Your nephew should’ve gotten better seats.