I can’t even tell if this is a joke or not.

Better Dog Whistles. Better Pizza.

Well, it’s an improvement over the last pizzagate.

Fox News has already deemed this “The War on Crustmas”

17 thousand people liked a frozen pizza companies tweet.

All I could see was JP from Grandma’s Boy:

Too Sad Too Serious

You could have just titled this “Tyrese Gibson quits Fast and Furious franchise”

“This guy was just too much of a creep toward women.”

Yeah, on the list of guys who deserve a break, there’s Paul Manafort’s name.

I’m white and I do. I always hope they’re white. Sigh.

When I heard the imitation firearm thing (before people were saying terror) I jumped to suicide by cop.

I don’t know, isn’t that a lot like jerking off before sex?

Congrats and Happy Halloween to everyone who thinks they’re breaking the news about sleep paralysis to the rest of us.

Sleep well, my friend! I’ve read this story before on different sites. It’s fake.

That’s because it’s fake, or at least it’s been reprinted before. “Miss Lizzy is a snitch but a good smelling bitch.” I remember that line vividly from the first time I read this story. That and the middle finger that went off the page. It’s a common creepypasta.

Yeah, this is the part that zaps the fear out of it for me. It’s NOT hard to crop or block out or mspaint-scribble the identifying features. And “winners” in previous years have admitted to making shit up for the internet kudos or whatever.

I remember your story from last year, so creepy!

oh my god, this is kinda sweet. Your ghost saved you!

Reposting my tale of my almost-murder from last year.