i love it when 30 year old beard guys figure out america now and going forward and they write a book about it

“I have a book coming out...”

I was this close to exposing that guy until you published this article.

I assume Jake Gyllenhaal is busy?

Infinity dollars on someone’s ex-husband or ex-boyfriend.

Hayward Prefers ‘Tics Over ‘Eat, ‘Azz

The ‘Tics? Fuck you and your dog too

Calling it now; if the shooter is non-white Trump will tweet about it within 24 hours. If the shooter is white he won’t tweet at all.

This title made me think I was going to read about an 800 meter race that began with an old lady and finished with a fetus splashing across the finish line.

This ain’t the Chez Francois, pal!

Stop this bad habit. Finish the food before you serve it to them. This is how they will come to appreciate good, well finished food.

I’m Burke. Carter Burke. I work for the company. But don’t let that fool you, I’m really an okay guy.

It makes me laugh that the lawyer you spoke to is called Rachel Green, because she didn’t qualify for an annulment.

The Kings are doing some really special things right now.

He’ll respawn at the hospital in a few anyway.

GOOD LORD.

I don’t think people grasp how HUGE a Desert Eagle .50 cal pistol is and the size of the bullet.

This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

a girl who I wasn’t interested in asked for my number