I think the bigger issue with bachelor/bachelorette parties is the insane lengths brides and grooms expect the attendees to go for them nowadays.

Agreed, fatigue definitely played a factor, and Elliott not being able to cover the first chance was killer, because every Blues just darted in like he was about to get a faceoff. Because it led to this:

Maybe you could just say you love really thin pancakes?

Holy shit! Those moves!

I dunno, man. I’m all in on Amundson’s cult.

Germain, You’ve managed to make me excited for the Independence Day sequel! Hopefully it lives up to the original.

Sorry about your pups, Chris. The fact that you need to distract yourself with law care shows that you were/are a good dog parent that gave them both great lives!

Hey, man. Good to see your marriage is doing well! Here’s a hug.

Yeah, some Giants fans insist on calling him ODB, for whatever reason, when he goes by the nickname OBJ.

Just so we’re clear: wrestling is SO LAME because it’s fake, but the track Lord Voldemort put on his name in the Harry Potter series is 100 percent cite-able? Glad we have a nerd pecking order (I’m fans of both, so the more nerding out the better).

Way to be that guy, dude. Can I give you a -1?

I’m a die hard Jets fan, so I love Nick, too. And I felt the similarly betrayed...when I found out he was a Rangers fan.

Let me start by saying I’m an Islanders fan, so anyone hitting a Ranger should be a-okay in my book, but...

The only thing I like is that the costume’s primary color is green, because in the original series, Tommy is Rita’s Ranger creation, so this would create a nice connection in my head canon as to why his color is green.

This is the best.

Precisely. Not to mention whatever social media policy ESPN has in place, which is likely a condition of his employment.

Millennials won’t remember this, but Warren G. Harding gave out Blow Pops and stripper-grams to every American teenager who pledged to vote for him.

Patrick,

You damn well best remember Ziggy Palffy!

I give an eerily similar speeches to my young team’s parents.