“Hey, they are just pouring beer, why do they feel so entitled to a living wage? After all, I shouldn’t have to pay $.50 more per beer, and I only make $50k/year. Why should he make more than me?”

Always remember, don’t fight to raise everyone up, fight to drag everyone down.

*Starts reading*

True story - what’s even sadder for that beer vendor is that his job doesn’t even provide enough to allow him to go back to his home in Kansas to visit his father. His dad had to use some of his retirement savings to travel to Landover just to be able to see his boy.

No, these things are important and we need to rush to fill vacancies on the court as fast as possible. Just ask Supreme Court Justice Merrick Garland.

“You are the biggest idiot on this thread.”

Rarely does one see a sentence that by its very posting immediately defeats its premise.

Was wondering if you’d wend your way to that punchline, not disappointed. You’ve managed to twist the panties of at least one commenter, though, and for that you have earned a star!

“There’s too much teeth in my blow job.”

(Pat’s fan, sick of Brady’s prima donna act and Bill’s asshole persona. But thanks for holding up the “Boston Sports Fans Are Assholes” narrative!)

Only Boston fan can complain that a book titled Belichick: The Making of the Greatest Football Coach of All Time is somehow unfair to them.

They’re on top of the world and are in control of the whole game, but can’t stop playing the victim card and whining like pathetic losers about how much everyone is out to get them. It’s not only annoying, it’s completely counterproductive, as they’re going to wake up soon on the bottom of the world, with no one to…

We were warned gay marriage would lead to this.

“Tom knows Bill is the best coach in the league, but he’s had enough of him. If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

“If Tom could, I think he would divorce him.”

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

Fucking hell we’re gonna end up with a Presidential dick pic aren’t we, that’s why he wants to text all of us personally

“Your orgasm is in another castle.”

I don’t want to read this headline.