You would think a writer of Franzen’s talent would have the Freedom to make some.

Brought to you by Draft Kings.

+Every breath you take, I’ll be watching you (from the rafters, holding a baseball bat)

You leave Geordie out this you fuck. He could see the entire EM spectrum, which was useful as shit. You don’t sully him with these hunk of shit headphones.

My roommates and I were geeked up on LSD one night, and for some reason one of their girlfriends was just hanging out with us. This was the early 90’s, so it was pre-internet and you couldn’t just check facts at 3am. I don’t remember how Beetle Bailey came up, but she just blurted out that Beetle Bailey and Hi & Lois…

Pro tip: Don’t drink if you have to go to work next morning.

Charlie Batch

I haven’t watched professional wrestling in probably 15 years and this hit me in every single one of the right places.

So, a bunch of people are commenting with “I think this was dementia,” and I feel it’s incumbent upon me to note that at no point anywhere in this story does it mention that Livsey suffers from dementia. Not everyone in their 80’s does—nor does any part of this story actually sound like dementia to me. It just sounds…

Having the Chargers and Raiders share a stadium and a division would have made the annual stabbings so much more convenient.

This looks really bad for Kane, if I were him, I’d distract everyone by giving Pete Rose a piledriver.

So we can call this one Benghazi, right!?

Oh... we can’t?

Player: Hello Coach Chip, how are you today?

* pushes up thick, unattractive glasses *

Considering it would’ve been one me versus 4 or 5 larger-than-me-dudes, I decided to take the most non-violent approach to getting my phone back.

About 20 years ago, I was working at a car rental agency in an airport when the stars of the WWF show that night came rolling in. Hogan, Roddy, Macho Man, Bigelow....Anyways, they don’t even break character when renting cars. Roddy was acting like he got the best car of the bunch, Macho didn’t like what I was giving…

Accurate.