Lighten up, Francis.

Turn this into a screenplay, please.

I really, truly want to believe this, but I don’t think there’s any way middle-class white America lets Cam Newton become the face of the NFL.

He’d never go to Arsenal.

Well then he’s a perfect fit for the Nets. They're an endless dumpster fire, not a train wreck.

Yeah, but the real unicorn isn’t seen until 3:10.

This is bad Kinja.

Man, that’s crazy!

It was actually a mixed doubles match, you should've seen the service.

I definitely don't see the Lakers getting a ring out of this edition of Kobe playing grab ass.

As someone who has been using RealGM for the better part of 15 years, it’s awesome to see someone like Shams get a gig like this.

Jordan didn’t “retire” to go play baseball.

This is what it would look like if RG3 were drafted by the Colts instead of Andrew Luck...

Jokes are fun.

As soon as the reports came out that LeBron had no idea this was going to happen, I immediately called BS.

It’s proven to be one of the most lopsided trades sports has seen since the Bucks traded Dirk Nowitzki to the Mavericks for Robert Traylor.

Just about every Cormac McCarthy book is hard to recommend because his writing style is so hard to adjust to.

Take off your shoes before you get in bed, though.

I’ve got the terrible habit of reading multiple books at once, though most of the time they’re always about completely different subject matter.

Gingersnaps Porchswings