But, but, THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS! (sounds like Jefferson was totally in for regular updates on outdated legislation...)

I'd have said horny. ;)

A religious belief is not eating pork or not working on Saturday. This is treating people like shit and then blaming god when you get caught.

I don’t know if this is disastrous so much as...bizarre. But when I was 20 I spent a year abroad in Germany. Unlike the rest of my cohort save one, my friend we will call Lana, I didn’t have the money to fly back to the US for the holidays and so I resigned myself to spending Christmas in Germany alone. Now Christmas…

Hey, that’s good encouragement to keep at it! That’s cute. 

My holiday horror story includes spying my (extremely serious) boss’s taxidermied (former) pets peering down at us from aloft two hours in; knowing they had been there the whole time.

I’m late (and in the greys) but I’ll try anyway!

My mom does not like me, to put it mildly, and has always given me really shitty passive aggressive gifts. Shirts three sizes too big, tweed blazers when I was a 14 year old New Wave kid, etc. The Christmas my brother brought his fiancée to meet us, my mom gave her 3 cashmere sweaters, and somevery thoughtful stuff…

Ok, so this is just a weird story, and it’s funny now, but at the time (5years ago?)it was all kinds of wtf. My husband works in logistics and runs a huge warehouse full of fancy electronics. Contracts with the armed forces, schools, etc. They throw an annual holiday party, and go heavy on the drinks- open bar. I…

i’m actually hoping someone will fly into bits.

We should go old school and put him in Black and White stripes.

All I want for Christmas is Trump in orange, and I’m not talking about his spray tan. 

Also, we now have an incoming Democrat-controlled House who will put 45's feet to the fire. The GOP have proven that they cannot be a check and balance to the executive branch. Fingers crossed. :)

Oh I hope. I don’t see how Cohen can be culpable while Trump isn’t. I'm hoping the end game is in sight here

(with apologies to those who wish to avoid all his tweets)

Ok, for all you future Cohen’s trying to suck up to your boss and ride his coattails to the top: when your boss won’t pay you back after a month or two, he’s going to make sure you take the fall for him in the future. You’d think Cohens would know that, but they don’t, they’re so dumb they think maybe one day their…

Because Mueller knows that when he comes after a president, the case must be air tight. Especially this president.

Patton Oswalt is correct.

also...

late-breaking