Tell them directly they have some issues that are really bothering you and that they should consider talking to someone who might could help them. Have the names of several professionals with phone numbers and give it to them.

These guys can't wait and have their money and other things in hand.

I'm happy your friend's Mom is finally making money showing videos of her screwing a donkey in Tijuana. When does your mother's video start?

Save your money. Tovolo products have never lasted beyond a month without tearing or splitting. A nylon mesh scrubber will last for years and works for everything.

I didn't feel sorry for Eva Braun or Magda Goebbels either. Just in case though, leave a Walther and capsules on Sterling's nightstand.

Professional sports would play Ted Bundy, Stalin, and Hitler in the infield if it makes them money. Fuck 'em.

Sometimes you hear a "Christian" say, "If it wasn't for God and Jesus people would just go crazy. It would be alright to rape, rob, and steal — just everything if there's no God."

I'm hoping this guy has his new Easter shirt and pants in time for Sunday's Sunrise Service. He doesn't have to even tuck it in.

This woman used the bread trick!

When I think of all the good people that died today, this jerk deserves forgetting.

It's nice to see the Huckabee for President campaign branching out for supporters or luring people to their death.

It's time for "God Hates Fags" cookies laced with sterility drugs.

Sister Jane Dominic Laurel came prepared in case she met a homo, masturbator, or someone with intelligence.

It's a shame that 99% of these people weren't on Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

Another example of poor food advice on lifehacker. Do you have writers who actually cook?

Should have held the tee in her mouth. That way the hit would have resulted in only dental damage, but no injuries to her missing brain. Isn't this how Jenny McCarthy started?

Old wives stink. Every year or two, throw them out. Keep it simple.

"My wife is vegetarian and she often complains about the ice in the freezer smelling and tasting of meat or fish."

Time to increase your lithium and update your tin-foil hat. The aluminum needs changing every five tantrums. Do you own guns? Are you in Florida? Out on bail?

I'm betting you tried marinating the bacon in leprechaun piss but didn't get caviar. Perhaps you got your piss from a syphilitic leprechaun (lifehacker didn't mention to only use piss from an organic leprechaun).