His punishment will be a high price Toupee

But she literally got handcuffed for trying to talk over the judge.

Oh my god, the ESPN comment section was a mile back the other way you knob.

Struggling in the Pocket: A Life of Abstinence

Maybe he just confused the sound of 50 very large men grunting with Scott Stapp’s voice?

Stooge.

I hate the fucking eagles, man.

Satisfying the rabbit hole is also a great euphemism for jilling it.

“America is in your hands, Dude.”

Q-tipping my ears is the closest I’ll ever get to comprehending how a woman feels during PIV.

It's a sine of the x.

Well apparently people can’t dislike Radiohead without being dipshits about it either.

Representatives from Skyline handle collection after the game.

Because this is the NBA, there must be a third step.

“Cry, me”

Careful now. His last girlfriend became really good at sex due her time with Tom. But she blames the stress from that relationship as the cause of her torn labia.

Boy or girl, Bryxtin better have nice guns.

The Tinder spin-off for parents is called “Motherfuckers”.

That looks like a Muppet playing hockey in his pajamas. Not a good sports logo.

Nice Underhanded Bern