I want to see Chris Elliott (the only good white Chris) reprise his Leno impression to do this lame apology justice.

White woman who needed to have a baby in order to understand why maternity leave matters tries to make an argument against affirmative action.

I’d imagine it gets hard to parse out when it’s anti-Asian and when it’s just... you know, her. Kind of like Milo Y talking about homophobia when the problem is just that he’s terrible.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyymmmmmmmnnnnnn. If you’re ever in NYC, drinks on me.

I would really be quite surprised if the McConnell/Chao marriage has been consummated. Also, just thinking about it makes me a little bit sick to my stomach.

And because turtle man is involved...

“funnel your shriveled hog”

Now there’s a phrase well-turned.  Goddamn.  Also, gross.

Starred just for the first paragraph (“funnel your shriveled hog” - I’M DEAD), but I kept reading from beyond the grave and goddamn. Your drinks are on the house tonight.

That’s the one thing they had in common. When uncomfortable silences descended at the dinner table one of them could simply bring up the latest way they’d made their golden calf happy and chat would ensue for hours.

This. Was. AWESOME. I so love their transgressions being so fully laid out.

Damn. I was just going to mention how embarrassing it must’ve been to watch his wife aggressively sucking up to Trump Like he was a God King, but you took it 100 steps beyond. Enjoy this slowly building clap: 👏...👏...👏👏👏👏

It be Goodman Worthington and his dog, Spot!

Sabath Day! Sabath Day! Sabath Day! Low low prices on mules!

So how many airports, car dealerships and landfills did the original 13 colonies have?

“If they want to be more masculine, maybe they should join the Chinese Navy? I’m just asking questions here.”

look closer. then say “and he was wearing heels.”

Can’t wait for Tucker Carlson’s hot take on why female athletes don’t need a weight room because weight training makes them less feminine.

Yeah, I read it, that’s why I knowed what I knowed.

Yeah, media sensationalizes any story like this and seizes on anything “catchy”, true or not. Remember during Columbine, there was all those stories about the “trenchcoat mafia”, or that the shooters were goths or Marylin Manson fans, or the story about the girl that professed her faith in god before being shot. All…

My highschool English teacher back in the 80's, always started the year by handing out a flyer about the previous year’s Most Banned Books.  And then cheerfully pointed out which ones we would be reading that year.  :)