On top of the fact that they will never find a gang of men in a mob of men if they don't bother trying to find them in the first place.

"Informed the Ministry of the Interior to immediately take necessary measures and catch the assailants." They would have better luck filing a complaint in a suggestion box at Culver's.

Word, so hard to all of that.

I want those horns. I want those horns so bad. I swear to god that I will be wearing those to Thanksgiving.

You would seriously think that John le Carre had written the damn things.

My son has those little books too and no amount of miraculous medical technology could get him to put them down and pay attention to his parents either. I feel ya Grayson's dad!

Miniature American flags for others.

I don't know if anybody here is old enough to remember Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist but if you are...do you remember that face he made while hearing about something uncomfortable or unpleasant or just generally TMI from one of his patients? The teeth gritty smile thing? Yeah, I just did that while reading this…

Insert croissants here.

Someone brought me a scone. I must be doing something wrong.

Does shouting for croissants only work if you're Kanye or can I try this at Julius Meinl or at home? DO CROISSANTS ACTUALLY SHOW UP??

Yes! Bad ass AND good posture! That's a rare spelling bee champ combo, yo.

I've got a bowl of popcorn and I just cracked a seltzer. Let's get this show on the road. I'll be over here hitting refresh.

I heard that there was some sort of migraine inducing headband-under-a-wig situation going on too. This is some serious Medal of Honor business.

I want to know how they got Rob Lowe's eye to do that *thing* for like, the whole movie. I keep thinking about that scene in Brazil with Katherine Helmond and the clip/plastic wrap wielding plastic surgeon.

I'm a torso!

So he is basically a bigoted version of The Mayor from Buffy?

"Everything is coming up Milhouse!"