Which product do you recommend? Wait.... it’s not a Kristin product, is it?

+1 Undeserved humility

Sharts don’t count, right?

Can you break wind at both ends simultaneously?

How did you disprove her claim?

Especially if he could twist his face up like Jim Carrey.

+1 “It’s like living in a Dutch oven.”

Did he fart himself out in year 25?

+1 Words to live and love by

She may wish to view Nutty Professor, for educational purposes, of course.

Time for a Phart-Cam™?

Go to a GI doc and ask for one of those burp packets, if they’re still around. You mix them in water, and they fill your tummy up with a couple cubic yards of air in order to enable better images to be taken.

Check her navel when she’s not looking - maybe she’s got a blowhole that intercepts packages addressed further south.

Was her name... uh... Kristin?

Basically, the court didn’t even rule on whether Goodell sold his soul to the devil or is otherwise an unsaveable control freak, nor whether Brady is a cheating dickhead.

She probably thinks he’s stupid, not kinky.

Very nice to know - thanks!

Very nice to know - thanks!

Nice call! Any idea how the price match works (how long you have after you buy something)?

Nice call! Any idea how the price match works (how long you have after you buy something)?

Don’t forget the NFL, like many other institutions, doesn’t give a real rip about women, either, (or anything else that doesn’t translate into $$$, and damn soon).

What did you expect, galactic celebrities?