Jay is known for being tricky. I mean, he signs his name “Publius.”

Heh, you guys are dumb — he said American doll hairs.

West: (stares)

Football hasn't seen an index that useless since Dexter Manley flipped to the back of a Redskins media guide.

“Holy shit, the invisible hand is real.” -Darren Rovell

In a few weeks we’ll find out Kostek is actually 40 cans of Bud Light in a wig.

How do they keep winning if they’re cheating? I mean, explain that to me. Cheating means someone loses. They are so good, that they win even when they cheat. You’re all jealous of this team.

Eagles must have tons of confidence that Bradford will last the entire season. My prediction is when the weather turns in Philadelphia, Sam catches a cold, and in the huddle he sneezes, which causes his chest to literally explode, covering his teammates in blood and guts. The Eagles will use this as a rallying cry and…

Carroll was probably slowed by all the loose change in his pockets.

Coulda ended worse...

Investigators are trying to get ahold of security footage inside King Tut’s but so far all they are getting are denials.

I dunno, I look at at that photo and all I see is “Not Found”.

Let’s see what Kobe thinks...

First footage of riots in Canadian streets as news of victory spreads. :

The most impressive part was watching Christie turn a 42-54-62 double play.

Oh, man. What a boner!

Devo immediately regretted the decision to begin playing race tracks.

[looks over visa]
[doesn’t recognize name]
[shrugs shoulders]

Must have been somebody charging the mound.

Rivers: "Nnnnhh, peppermint roll!"