On my 21st birthday I got so drunk I started throwing olives and limes at a bartender, was dragged out of the bar by my boyfriend and woke up with a tree branch in my hair.

As a childless old hag, I take zero responsibility for any societal decay.

The Duke Fuck List was messed up. Also messed up? The need many feel to bring up the Duke Fuck List on all the thousands of articles about men objectifying women incessantly. This is not about that and derailing is inherently unhelpful.

I’m just a dumb guy, but it seems like the explanation is right there in the letter. The women expect it and brush it off from men (in general). They had higher expectations of the men’s soccer team as “brothers” and “close friends.” It’s a betrayal, not that there were comments about their appearance. Unless you’re…

As a 40 year old man, I can safely say I have never been in a conversation where anyone spoke in graphic detail about the sex acts they wanted to perform on another person. If you truly believe “that’s what humans do,” maybe you need to find better humans.

Well, that and the fact that the way women “rate” men hasn’t historically had a massive impact on whether they’re hirable, how much money they make, whether they deserve basic decency, etc.

What you do or don’t do really isn’t the point here. It’s the behaviors you’re defending. Even in this comment, you’re implicitly condoning men reducing women to nothing more than their fuckability. Why do you think that’s okay? Why do you think discussing sex acts you want to perform on women is okay? I have no…

This is a great point. I think that this is one of the reasons why sexist behavior at work is so appalling.

If you read their entire letter and still don’t get it then you are obtuse and lacking in empathy.

Do you rank women? Do you take an entire specific group of women who are your colleagues and you are friends with and decide exactly how fuckable or unfuckable they are and why? Do you write down your thoughts about a whole group of women? Or do you just mention a woman you find attractive and why? Because there’s a…

There are ways to talk about sexual attraction that are respectful of the person you are attracted to. Producing a scouting report that grades all of the women like pieces of meat is not the right way to do it.

You don’t get to question why a list like this is bad...and then feel sorry for yourself after the vast majority of responses have been FAR more respectful than you deserve.

As others have written on this thread, they may talk amongst a close intimate friend or two. But they don’t make up spreadsheets and multipage analyses, following demands by older members of the group to do so.

Your friends would rate your mom -1. And that would be ok with you. And you would be fine with that being written and disseminated throughout the institution where she dedicates her time. Because men like to have those conversations, end of story.

I get why this is strange to you. But the reason it’s different when men do this than women is that these things aren’t happening in a vacuum. The attitude displayed in the “scouting report” is the same attitude that drives kids like Brock Turner to think that women are just objects, and is used as justification for…

If you’re friends, colleagues or semi-teammates with a group of women, pretend to have a friendship / kinship with them to their face, then rate them by fuckability behind their back with your male buddies then yeah, you should be ashamed.

Even this I don’t really get. Imagine how odd this would sound coming from a woman.

For many decades into the 20th century, discussing another person in that way was considered ungentlemanly, offensive, a sign of low breeding and bad character.

D-Nice, Tim O Thee, A A Ron, Ba la kay

If you are stunned then I must admit that I am old, as I remember well the smokin’ Warren years.