I really liked the Keira Knightley/Matthew Macfadyen version. Those bangs are so distracting though.

I told my ob/gyn that I wasn’t sure about going back on birth control because it significantly lowered my sex drive the last time. She told me to go on more dates with my husband and to put more of an effort into sex.

“I appreciate your concern, but I really just came to the sauna to relax, and I’m sure you can understand that talking about this isn’t relaxing.” Then segue into something else to demonstrate you are still open to talking with her (if that’s what you want).

Well I don’t want to discount that at all, if that’s the case...but, the house was a disaster every time I went over there, and there’s also 3 kids. In the downstairs bathroom alone, I found a rotting pear core in the soap dish, Hershey bar wrappers under the sink, and chewed bubblegum in a drawer. In the ice maker I…

Ugh that’s messed up. You handled it better and more directly than I would have haha. To be fair, I learned about food decomposition when I moved into my first apartment in the middle of summer and didn’t do my dishes for a day, and found them...to be alive. Never, ever again. My trashcan is 10L and I empty it daily.…

When I was 10, an ant crawled into my ear and stayed there scratching around for a while, and no one believed me until they saw it crawl back out.

One hot southern July, I dog/house sat for a nice wealthy family, in a very lovely house. It had recently been remodeled to look like Pottery Barn. In the master bathroom, I found a literal swarm of fruit flies. Someone had consumed 3/4ths of a family-sized bag of frozen corn in their bathroom, and then threw it away…

Rented a really nice house on airbnb; good reviews, owner super into feng-shui and positive energy, and apparently the hundreds of german cockroaches that infested her house. There wasn’t bug spray or traps or any indication that this many cockroaches was at all an issue for the owner. I stood in the kitchen at 11pm,…

Preach. Marriages are great, and I’m happy to help celebrate them...but not when my RSVP reduces me to a money-hemorrhaging headcount. Where’s the love?

Right? North looks adorable of course, so hopefully this is a sign she’s moving beyond the top knot.

Okay but can we take a quick 5 minutes to discuss today’s E! article? The one that surmises North got her curly hair from Khloe, or maybe from that one time Kim used a curling iron?