Whiffenpoof my pants are gone.

Akinori Iwamura!

So much irony.

This is the trophy that “I” was missing. Thank you for winning it for “ME.” BTW, did I mention all of the trophies that I’ve won? I’ve won ALL OF THEM! I’M SO HAPPY!!!

Holy shit. I want to believe that this is somehow fake.

That’s the American way.

“So my wife and I will leave our home soon – the only home we’ve ever known, the place where we’ve lived since the summer of 2013...”

Take care of the gumbo! Go to the Roux, Start Celery, Onions Garlic! Bouillon! (players: Bouillon!) *coach raises right arm* GREEN BELL PEPPERS! Medium-low heat, sausage, simmer ONE TWO THREE!

Paterno probably could have avoided the injury had he not been too busy looking the other way.

“Amateurs.” -Marvin Harrison

Kate’s improper use of “your” has forever killed my boner for her.

Meanwhile at one point 3 years ago the Tigers had Verlander, Porcello, AND Scherzer in the same rotation and we still couldn’t win shit.

See, driving while White is also dangerous!

If it’s any solace, I’m sure they’ll Flame out...

Well, good for them.

OK, sorry, no one was wondering that.

No surprise here, we’re not talking about Charles Stayer

[Reads headline]

well, Spotlight came out last year.