I’m okay with a little automatonophilia. I wouldn’t mind getting banged by a hot cylon.

How is this scientifically possible

Good to know!

Yes, because weird transubstatiation rituals, making signs on the foreheads of babies, and chanting from ancient texts are definitely not things one should seek guidance from.. Oh wait, I’m describing christianity. My bad.

Maybe ‘cuz Wicca is a religion that holds up the male and female as equal, and no one’s ever started a war in its name?

It depends on what sort of gay you sign up for. It looks like he got the “Yas Queen” bundle. I got the “Hipster Otter” deal and I can’t do those moves.

If tomorrow all my things were gone

Maybe they just assume that anyone seeing fighter jets flying overhead automatically gets a freedomgasim, and that the next time she got a freedomgasim she'd feel bad for denying those brave flyers their discount.

my religious freedom is being attacked because there are other religions

Because sky cake isn’t tasty unless the sky pie and the sky baklava people don’t get to have any cake.

The 1950's, that magical era that conservatives site as the "Golden Era" of America. When blacks knew their place (at separate lunch counters, natch), gays were firmly closeted, dames slaved in the kitchen over butter-laden dinners, and little Jimmy played baseball and rode his bike and didn't have a care in the…

TEAM BRUCE! ...until such a time as he, himself, lets us know which pronoun he would rather us be using — and then TEAM BRUCE 2.0.

Memes>Emojis.

Memes, bitches. You can't stop us now, we're too strong! It's over!

I just keep picturing that creepy doll rolling up on its tricycle, all, "Let's play a game, Anastasia" and I just can't stop laughing. Like it hurts, all this laughter.

"The only way out of those handcuffs, Anastasia, is to either saw off your hand or cut open the belly of your mother to retrieve a key that's been placed there. Your choice."

"Basically 50% of the roles in a pilot have to be ethnic, and the mandate goes all the way down to guest parts," one talent representative said.

"Full Waiting to Exhale" is not taking a bunch of lit matches and feebly tossing them one at a time, it is getting lighter fluid and burning that car down with a lit cigarette, Bernadine. I get that the yoga studio was evacuated, but was there even an actual fire? Stupid hippie.