“It’s like, ‘Jesus SATAN, take the wheel’ but scarier,” the same person said.

(not directed at you, Rob)

I thought that was his happy face.

Being from The South, where “He needed killin’” is a valid legal defense, part of me wants to agree with that, when they refuse to stop and whatnot, but I can’t. They’re endangering other people, plus as a lib and husband of a person who sustained a mild brain injury that fucked him up for the rest of his life, this…

HANG ‘UM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. The Robots will come for all of us soon enough. We might as well program them to take out both people instead of choosing one or the other.

Ok, so the Puke and the Pube were bad, but at least the CrossCabriolet was great!

I think “Euro-inspired” really meant “What can we make some yahoo in Peoria think people in Europe drive?”

DON’T MENTION THE WAR!!!

Sad-Libs

Well yeah, if it’s cold, even if you’re not getting out of the car, take a coat with you.  

To me, it would say “I am a responsible adult and will provide well for our offspring (especially if the interior is clean).”

As long as your dongle isn’t hanging out, what does it matter?  On weekends, that’s serious math: Can I go through the drive-thru at CVS where only one person can see what I’m wearing (and I’m a frequent flyer anyway) or am I going to have to go in, and have to put on ‘going out in public’ clothes. 

I was a fat kid, so that doesn’t actually bother me, per se.

Look at Mr (or Ms) Fancy over here wearing pants around the house! Are you expecting a visit from the Pope? Typically when I get home, I take my pants off, sometimes I’ll put on a pair of shorts, and keep on my golf shirt I wore to work because why bother.

I hope you’re right, I’m 40 and just bought a Shark stick vac. I love it so much I can’t imagine my life without it.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome: Truck Edition

Yes, when they’re used for towing...

It sucks being the oldest person in the room.

Yeah, either a monkey or a kid.  Maybe he’s trying to avenge the death of the kid’s mother.