If I had a cool car...

On the GMT900 generation trucks, The General thought it was a good idea to put metal bumpers on the front, then put giant painted plastic covers over the corners, where they’re most likely to get hit. I had scuffs on the driver’s side corner within 2 months where a shopping cart kissed it in a parking lot (I think).

It’s very rare... nobody would buy them!

At least she isn’t holding it backwards like so many of those pictures. Or holding a circular saw.

There’s a place on my way home where there are two lanes, then one becomes a right turn only lane and only the left lane goes forward.  The left lane will get backed way up sometimes and then buttholes will come along and try to pass a bunch of those people and squeeze in. It happens a lot where I get on the…

Or you pass a long row of cars in line and try to get in line.  I’ll close the gap.

The rubber bands in the Rogue make it feel slower than it is.  Plus if you do try to accelerate the engine just gets buzzier and it eventually gets power to the wheels.

I got married there (in Toronto) before it was legal in my state.

DO IT!

EXACTLY!! That’s just adding weight.

It’s a church/prison van rather than “Free Candy” kidnapper van... nothing creepy about that.

there’s a built-in CRT television, so your kid can appreciate what life was like before LCDs!

Ozzy Man is funny as shit!

He’ll need to sew tweed patches on the elbows of his jacket, but this is a solid suggestion.

He would also prefer something that is not a pickup truck.

1. In this car, don’t.

To be fair, I did a practice near-panic-stop when I test drove my truck, but it was a red light with no one behind me and no actual cross-traffic anyway, and I had space between me and the line. And the salesperson wasn’t pressuring me.

BURN THE WI...