WHAT NEXT... APPLAUD GAYS IN THE BEDROOM?

You can’t hold the phone to your ear with one hand, hold your coffee with the other, and still steer your vehicle safely!

In my old Matrix, if it sensed any weight in the passenger seat, it would keep beeping.  Even if the seat back was folded over forward so it was physically impossible for anyone to be sitting in it, it would beep.  So if I put any weight in it at all, I also had to fasten the seat belt.

^^^ This dude called it!!!

No one said to stop doing that. Especially pictures with Patrick Dempsey.

KNAWLEDGE

Rich douches can look like they just rolled out of bed.

Thanks for reminding me of that nightmare fuel.

I have often found the best tasting fruit on the side of the road.

Hmmmmmm... buttery emails.

You forgot “Noted truck mechanic and Corgi enthusiast, Lizzy 2.”

And then they might have blown up your nuts.

He has a long-term partner secreted away in Seneca*, but that doesn’t mean then there wasn’t a string of rent boys in the past.

I suspect Mint Julep would prefer to be pounded.

Buckshot Becky. That is fucking beautiful.

You’ll have to have the autonomous car, with a personal valet who jumps out to open the door for you and hold you hand while you get out.  

It’s more in-laws that neighbors.

*taking notes*