Apparently that is a thing - I’ve heard, from a friend, that there is a great deal of SPH porn on the Internet. I don’t think it’s that small, my high school guidance counselor said it was perfectly fine. He also said I had a good personality and my future partners probably wouldn’t care about the size of my penis,…

That’s never happened to me either, but just because I’m not self-conscious about it.

You have to be FancyKristen’s valet for a week.  If you survive, you get out of the greys.  If you run away or she ditches you (as in, leaves your dead body in a ditch), you get Jalopnik Gold™ status.

That’s what some of them end up looking like anyway.

That’s how far ahead of it’s time this car was!

They didn’t have to ‘prove’ anything, now it’s like they’re overcompensating for something.

I felt bad because I had a shitty old Lada, until I met the man with no Lada at all.

They let people as poor as you on the Internet?

I have found HSW to be well-researched in the past, but I’m not saying either way on this one - especially since when I made that comment, I was in a hurry and just meant to share the link.

The Ridiculous History podcast from HowStuffWorks did an episode on it:

But when you can hire people to perform a human chessboard, rub your feet, and fan you with a palm frond, what else can you want?

British

Thank you, thank you all. I thought that joke was pretty low hanging fruit (probably like Cheetoh Mussilini’s old-man-nuts), perhaps even punching down (like someone should do to America’s wealthiest hemorrhoid’s old-man-nuts).

The kind that wants to say “Fuck you, poors” and sink it into the ocean.

I’m sure she would buy it, have the fluids and shit drained out of it and sunk to create an artificial reef or something. You get tax credits for doing shit for the fucking environment, right? Well, I’m sure FK doesn’t pay taxes, but I’m sure it’s good to occasionally be seen by the common shits out there to do…

They’re not just born into it, they’re chosen by God and it is their lot in life to serve. We shouldn’t be mad, we should be grateful for their benevolent service.

He would have to add much more gold and marble. He likes to be showered in gold.  

PEASANT!

That’s the most enthusiastic reaction I’ve gotten from anyone in a week or more.  Except for my dog, but then every day when I go to work she probably thinks I’m never coming home.