If she does a sex scene with a midget they could call it "Shrimp on the…" oh never mind, I'll show myself out.

Somebody needs to go to Princess Charm School!

He goes to the sex robot store where Barbie is hiding out, and accidentally buys her and takes her home. Hijinks ensue.

They could be in a scene together, modeled after the finale of "A Serbian Film." Didn't Barbie have a niece or something named Skipper? And Mego Mr. T. could be the director.

Anybody remember "Earring Magic Ken"?

Wasn't Barbie modeled after a German hooker? I hope that's what her real-world alter ego is. (This is sounding like MLP: Equestria Girls.)

And just wait 'til you see the great new merit badges!

You did. Just wait 'til you see the merit badge you get for that.

This may be, but the adults on hand ought to make sure they behave respectfully.

Tommy Loy, the cabin boy…

The LDS has decided to withdraw from the BSA altogether, and start their own youth organization. That's about 200,000 out of the BSA's couple million members.

Remember that National Lampoon version of it in which the Bible Stories comic illustrated Song of Solomon? "Thy breasts are like fawns, twins of a gazelle…"

"I can't wait to taste your cookies!"

When I was six I wrote Nixon a letter asking him to "bring our boys home" (my dad's suggestion). A week or so later he wrote back thanking me for my letter, and assuring me that he shared my concern about this important topic.

Or find him a Jewish girlfriend.

But how were the arias?

Therapy?

Don't feel too bad. The Dalai Lama wrote a book called "Widening the Circle of Love."

"THAT DOES IT! NO TEMPLE RECOMMEND FOR YOU!"

The Scientology tithe is higher.