Lesbian shitasses 4eva

And Jesus sayeth, ‘thou shalt say sorry and thou shalt receive a do-over. If thou shalt fuck up said do-over, no worries, thou shalt again say sorry and thou shalt receive another do-over.’

ah yes, from the Book of Mulligan.

So when does Pence stab Baio to death in the shower? Is it this year? Is it after the midterms?

I can offer no such reciprocity ma’ lady. But for a run at Lady Chatterly’s record, may I offer you a cow patty with pasteurized goat milk in slice form in between the baker’s finest gluten loafs.

I don’t read “prayers and condolences” as a mangling of “thoughts and prayers” but rather a concession that he is not capable of thought

I know a high school full of kids who will never look at Valentine’s day the same way again. Fuck this country.

No child, teacher or anyone else should ever feel unsafe in an American school.

I would give them all the scritches.

The proof is that no one would lie and say they slept with Trump when they didn’t actually

I guess the problem is that now the entire world has several online platforms where everyone can band together and discuss (criticize, bash, demonize) the person in question - on the one hand, now the whisper network is less of a whisper... on the other hand, sure, I can see why a mob mentality is distressing when the…

There’s some pitchiness in this Lynne/Moorer performance (though it’s certainly not as bad as the above TS performance), but ultimately who cares? People don’t go to concerts for absolutely perfect in-pitch vocal performances. Yeah, we don’t want to see someone wailing like an alley cat, but cell phone footage omits…

There is still some justice in the world: in South Africa, a pride of lions killed and ate a poacher.

Mr. Lana hates it when I haul anything to the curb - it looks unsightly to him. I always tell him ‘It’ll disappear in 20 minutes.’ And I’m always, ALWAYS right. No matter how worthless or beat-up it is.

Yeah, lawyers are well known for paying off their client’s accusers and not requiring any payment in return. Happens all the time. Perfectly normal. This is fine.

no please. not the kittens. baskets of kittens are all we have left in this world :(

I find it amazing that they had to pay someone not to tell the world about the fact that she slept with Trump. Like, that isn’t the kind of thing most people would brag about. This whole story would have made a lot more sense if they were saying they paid her to say she did sleep with Trump.

Love her: “Let me fat in peace.”

If you see a house you’ve seen on tv, say “oh, it’s the house from [tv-show]!”, and then move on. Don’t rent cranes, don’t throw pizzas, don’t be WEIRD. Seriously, it’s just a house you saw on tv

I watch too much true crime tv to NOT Google the address of my future residence. Although we had a house built so now there’s different stuff to worry about. #theyreback