@coloredmaps: If it's band camp, I'm bringing my own flute!

@whynotshesaid: For reasons not mentioned but that I know you will understand, I am hearting you. I am hearting you like a mother fucker right now.

@TuesdayNext: Now that would be a cocaine vagina. ;-)

@xina: If there was enough coke in his mouth to make you have the shakes, you would have definitely known something was off. To give you that bad of a reaction, it would've had to have been a lot of cocaine. Thus, you would have tasted it in your throat.

@michaeldgorman: You are one of those people that I wish I was as smart as.

This was an amazing read. Thank you.

@regazza_di_lupo: Dude, I hope you're happy - I think I peed myself laughing (and gagging) at that visual and all that it may entail. Bravo and hearted!

@regazza_di_lupo:

@madeofawesome is a bamf: Oh gods, I had the misfortune of hearing that damn "Tick-Tock" blaring at me yesterday. "I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!!!!" Girl, you "sing" like you are gargling a penis. Please just go back to sleep with your oh-so-cool bottle 'o Jack.

@made_line: I guess I left out the most important part of that joke. My bush looked like a jungle. I kept saying that I expected a bushman to show up exploring in there. Therefore, "Crikey!". Eh, it made my husband laugh.

@lynxwings: Comment twins! I forgot that the generic does work better - great tip!

Regarding exfoliating before shaving:

@ytuhermanotambien: Madonna has/is/always will be The Original Recipe.

@Pugnacioun: Naw, Montag's not fleshy enough to eat during an apocalyse. All that plastic would get in the zombie's teeth. That's just bad dental hygiene right there.

@LazyHippo: Tonight I'm gonna fuck my brother.

@LazyHippo: Shit - I replied above with quotes from this movie and here you are with a clip. Sorry!

@whatwouldjanedo:

So we had (sob! you bastards!) carrot cake, and now red velvet and cheesecake are here. Carrot cake and red velvet cake have cream cheese icing.

@ellen_rage: No shit. If the man could hide 4 mistresses from her, why is it so hard for people to believe he could also successfully hide his Nazi bullshit from her?

@A Small Turnip: Holy shit. I so wish I could heart you again. And again. And again.