This seems to be getting handled with titanium-grade kid gloves on Twitter since Meghan’s in it, so it’s refreshing to come back here to get the straight grumpy scoop. Though, I have to admit, the sewer boys intrigue me.

I thought it was a great choice, because it’s not as edgy as some seriously douche-bro guitar metal could be from that era...after all, the Kens are all trying to get kisses from their Barbies when they play it. But the lyrics are also perfectly childish, because this is a world designed by little kids, and 6-year-old…

I think it really helps that Barbie, while obviously another chunk of soulless commercial product, wound up meaning a lot to multiple generations of little kids who’ve now grown up. There are a ton of complicated feelings around her that are actually worthy of discussion and introspection! Can’t say the same for…

Starting to understand why people have noise complaints regarding Pickleball enthusiasts

Just a sad old fucking existence you people want to create for yourselves

The Girl Next Door is riiiiight on the cusp of earned and not-earned. For an opening-movie montage about graduating high school and leaving a legacy behind, it’s both too on-the-nose and perfectly on-the-nose, given the teenage emotions that infuse that time in one’s life.

I just hope our nursing homes have video games

Barbie will annihilate Oppenheimer. It has the full, heat-ray force of Mattel’s promotional power in their vain attempt to launch a Toyetic Cinematic Universe. It has a huge soundtrack, big-name leads, and it looks fun fun fun fun. Oppenheimer is a 3-hour, R-rated movie about nuclear holocaust. It’s gonna get fucking…

It feels like this guy’s career has been astroturfed post-Sucker Punch. Like, his fanbase seems to exist solely because if they’re not there to prop him up, then...Marvel wins? Disney wins? “Woke” wins? I have no idea. It’s all just pretty garbage. This is gonna be another coffee table book of designs to toss onto the…

I read somewhere that part of the style guide for the Star Wars universe was “no paper, no wheels,” and while I’m not going back to see if that’s true across all the movies, it feels like it might actually be. We should add neckties to the list, if so.

He’s too busy making blue alien water movies for the next 25 years

Harry Potter does nothing for me, nostalgia-wise, but it’s hard to deny that’s the ideal score for that story & setting. Even when it feels like John Williams is doing a lay-up, it’s just gliding and perfect.

Also watching Silo, and while by every conceivable metric (except music?) it clears this trash, it’s just a less buzzy show. It’s one of those premise-heavy sci-fi thingies with good production design and seems to be revolving around a twist that we don’t know about yet. I can see why it hasn’t been setting the world…

Shaun and Fuzz are of one of the all-time, “one-two punch” debuts of any filmmaker. Expectations were unfortunately stratospheric for World’s End, I think - I rewatched it and it’s actually got a lot to recommend, a fine ending to the trilogy.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, Bring It On

Laughed exactly once: During the end credits, where we see the photos of what actually went down. Never has a movie’s narrative structure so clearly laid itself bare as the problem, at least for me. I think it rocketed to success because a lot of people really get off on telling hi-larious stories about how wasted…

Performing with Dave Chappelle. That’s the big-ticket internet pile-on at the moment. Not sure what their feelings are on him dumping his ex-wife for Olivia Munn, since his ex recently made kind of a snipe at Taylor Swift (the only un-cancellable person online).

As far as male-driven sex comedies go, nothing is going to top Superbad (probably doesn’t hurt that there’s actually very little sex in it). So may as well let female-driven sex comedies have a few hundred at-bats for now.

It’s no secret that Costner is a Republican, just the kind of Republican who doesn’t care for Trump. Yellowstone is kind of a good fit for him in that regard, funny that he hates doing it so much.

Self-important, weightless garbage from the first frame. So up its own ass, the way it was constantly intercutting between timeframes, scared of the very well-trod origin story it had to tell. Pa Kent became a villain. So much mindless destruction that it flipped an internal switch where one no longer could care about…