"Buy A Bucket"

Darren Sharper, HOLD MY DIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!

It's nice to see the Browns contributing to the local economy in the form of Cleveland's biggest export, crippling depression.

I love that name. It's French for "of the Brickashaw."

They used a "K" so the kid wouldn't accidentally end up at Harvard.

To be fair, the guy had been in first place in his beautiful dark twisted fantasy league.

McDonald's would have sold more, but every time Flacco went in to get a six piece, he stalled out and settled for three.

What do you believe the first letter said?

Man, that's fantastic. Visualizing the Browns as a whirlpool of feces is genius.

Anyone else look at this and think, "Holy shit, I'm short!"?

If the Angels want to pay fair market value for Trout, about $1.85/lb.

4 yards and someone else getting the ball is how every Stevan Ridley video ends

If you think this father-of-the-year candidate is treating his son like a slave, you should see what he's dragging behind the truck.

Sorry, kid, but you'll have to wait about four to six years to get your wish.

Unlike one of his former teammates, at least Gronk will never have to worry about the electric chair.

He also evaded taxes. Fuck that monkey.

One must remember that Deadspin's Bear of the Year is not and never has been an honor. It is not an endorsement. It is not a popularity contest. At its best, it is a clear-eyed recognition of the world as it is and of the most powerful bears shaping that world—for better or for worse.

What the fuck? Dad told me football was going to live at a farm upcountry!

Jesus. I thought this was an Onion-type article at first.