This is quite a coup on the part of the Texans. It’s almost impossible to trade away a guy with a name like “Jadeveon Clowney” and get a better name in return, but “Barkevious Mingo” definitely fills that void. That’s at least a top 50 all time NFL name. For a linebacker, it’s practically onomatopoeia.

Big shout out to Rolex for sponsoring the Evil Commie Villian. =)

His name is Brandon though

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain this to my wife, but she STILL gets the mayonnaise everywhere.

The tastiest part of all is that it happened because Stephens manually searched for his name on Twitter.

I mean, his use doesn’t even really fit the erroneous colloquial definition. (Which, by the way, we may as well just deem acceptable because no one cares what nerds think and language evolves.)

My main takeaway is that Verlander doesn’t know the definition of irony...

Or you could clap and give him a standing ovation for the entertainment he provided you and thank him for “his service”, if we’re going to keep using military terms.  Unless the only reason they’re mad is because they bought season tickets to resell them on StubHub and now their investment is worth less.  In which…

Just announce 25% off at Steak ‘n Shake and watch how quickly they all forget.

Every one of those boos can be translated roughly to: “I have nothing else in my pathetic life to focus on but this, how dare you take any part of it away from me”.

Unfortunately, research is showing us that Football is detrimental to your health even before you make a single dime. Like, High School early:

don’t sell yourself short. Handjob Bob Kraft is f-ing brilliant. Bravo!

Irsay would never quit any of those things.

I just told someone to take Luck for their fantasy team. Thank goodness I don’t play fantasy myself.

Also as a Colts fan I'm going to have to float some bonds for the next fear years.

This frees Andrew Luck to now pursue his true calling - streaming himself playing SimCity on Twitch

... no.

Dearest Mother,

You’re just realizing that women can be incredibly nasty and backstabbing towards other women on juries (or presidential elections)?