Casey’s end-of-game playbook is just an index card with “score a hoop” written on it

Dude is fifty? My dude. Looking good, gramps.

Many stars, you will have.

How dare you waste time on the internet, sir

There are no Canadian hockey teams in this year’s NHL playoffs, and I’m sure a lot of Canadian hockey fans are very sad about that.

I know, right? How can you forget about the deliciousness that is stir-fried peanut offerings.

hitting Delino DeShields

*sigh*

I know nothing of soccer

Roll up on a former NBA player and challenge him to a one-on-one “if he has the money”? SEEMS LEGIT.

Best part is how this pitch appears to be in the absolute middle of nowhere, surrounded by farmland and low mountain hills. With less of a crowd than my kid’s U12 rep games.

I dunno. Mary had a child, according to Russell’s worldview, and she was a virgin.

Does he know she’s (probably) not a virgin?

I’m not staying up until 1 a.m.

start furiously sending winks on match.com to every woman under retirement age

This is so disturbing, I actually liked it.

Actually, that’s a typical Canadian Saturday morning, but I see what you mean.

No, seriously, fuck that guy

This better not stay gray.

his balls look like wounded ducks flopping through the air