Just to make sure I understand this right: Rivers doesn’t want to be part of a team that might move 90 minutes up the freeway (granted, a 6-hour commute with SoCal traffic) because “family”. Then, he’s going to accept a trade halfway across the country to Flyoverland, TN because (fill in the blank here).

JR, goddammit!

In this thread: No Serie A fans

JUST WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR CENTURY!

Not just you, apparently. I downloaded the MP4 and it stutters something fierce. A shame, but no doubt Magary is behind it, because he is a terrible person who puts Maraschino cherries in a goddamned Old Fashioned, like a heathen.

Maraschino cherry in an old-fashioned? Kluwe is right about you. Do you even cocktail, bro?

Offhand, I’d say she was getting her groove back.

I always knew he was a short, blonde portly woman. Thanks for the confirmation!

Totally didn’t mean to steal your crackers, good sir/madam.

mayo boys

The officer wrote that Pierce said he'd had three shots of Jack Daniels.

Violations and Fouls

Yes, no, you should, that's a shame.

That's because there's no salary cap for a legal defense team.

Twice as big as a tic-tac is still pretty small...

It's time to put my foot down— *Rose tears ACL*

It is when your workday starts at 7:30 PM Central.

This is unquestionably, undoubtedly...the greatest Derpspin article in the history of Derpspin. You, Drew McCanary, should take the rest of the week off.