I would watch Thor in a comedy any day.

We can’t be expected to remember all the jokes made about the South.

You are so wrong that if someone started a Kickstarter for a method of turning wrong into renewable energy, I’d back it on the strength of your comments alone. I would pledge into “dinner with someone” tier, because it would be a sure bet that solves the world’s energy crises forever.

John Lewis is a national fucking treasure.

Have you seen Spy? It was surprisingly good. Far from what the terrible trailer promised. And it had a kick-ass Bond song:

“My main issue with this is that this is not about paying artists what they’re worth”

We’re talking about a character that beat a teenage kid to death with a crowbar in front of his mother, then blew both of them up for good measure. Or shot and paralyzed a young woman, then made a photo-shoot of her naked and suffering to torture her father into going mad.

A lotta people shit on this dude, but idk man after this it’s not to respect JR and root for him. So happy for him and this team.

That’s a lot of tears. Hopefully he has some kind of hollow, cylindrical device on hand to transport all that liquid.

That’s not staypuft getting hit in the nuts, but I agree with the sentiment, this is ‘ow my balls’ the movie kind of comedy.

Some annoying jerk on the other team could have kicked him in the ding dong.

...Or possibly a Redtube exclusive depending on what you’re in to.

Whenever I hear that someone is facing a “tribunal,” I always assume that person just did a CRAZY amount of ethnic cleansing.

You’re the kind of dumbass that’s helping get it made illegal.

I’m trying so hard to think of what her “initiatives” would be as a first lady and can’t even come up with anything stupid but plausible enough.

Do I have a contract that specifically covers what the punishment would be and provides that the contract will continue? If so, then yeah. Absolutely.

I thought Tunsil handled himself very well in the interviews he did after the draft. He didn’t lie or try to deny anything. He didn’t get angry or try to blame someone else. He didn’t even seem bitter or upset that he probably lost several million dollars. He admitted it was him, said it was mistake, said he was happy…

After everyone walks through the gate, watch for the last guy who is AMPED and decides to go over the open gate.

That’s what we call throwing the dick off the ball.

The day Deadspin stops using dank is the day Jezebel stops using “woke bae”.