Amy Poehler/Leslie Knope makes me pee-in-my-pants happy!

Is this still a thing?

I prefer people to constantly tell me to eat more donuts.

I will make an excuse to go home. It takes a lot for me to be comfortable with the idea of someone knowing I just went to the bathroom. Even when I lived with a guy, we had separate bathrooms. I also don't poop at work, because our office is an old converted house and there is no lock and thin walls. I also do some…

Ha! I took that first line to be gratitude for instructions on poisoning someone's food!

Huge milestone for me and the new man - I not only took a nap at his place this weekend while he played video games, but also pooped in his bathroom.

I am convinced all this "Kim's not my type" talk is part of a scheme to cast her in a sympathetic light by Momma Kris.

Yeah. The only way I could accept $500,000 would be for each and every single act. And if there were multiple people involved, $500k per person per act, even if they double up.

But how did they know what that looked like?

It's like someone forgot body parts! Head, neck, [boobs...wait], where'd the shoulders go? Eh, no one'll notice! Just make the boobs bigger!

I know. They're pretty much saying she doubled in size. I say she gained 15-20 pounds of non-muscle and keeps wearing those damn unflattering legging-tights that make anyone have normal-people thighs.

Nope. At the rate he is going, I am guessing there will be a celebrity version of his dating show soon. I don't get it either - maybe hypnotism? Is he like Tom Haverford and just really, really, really persistent? ("Four sweetest words in the English language: 'you wore me down.'")

It may take some searching, but certain brands are sized differently. As someone with short legs and a big butt, I couldn't find any that expanded in width but didn't leave me with six inches at the end. I randomly bought a certain type of Hanes that weren't labeled petites, but never got above 5'5, even in the…

I wish I had a smidge of artistic skill so I could share the absolutely awesome visual that comment created in my head.

"getting sprayed from the hind end of a tomcat"

The total lack of resentment or mean competition between the girls (especially Maddie and Chloe) always amazes me. I'm thinking since they get so little healthy support from their moms and teacher, the girls band together for survival and look out for each other.

I had a co-worker who said 'petrol' instead of gas. It drove me fucking nuts. Sometimes she'd slip up and say gas and I'd want to yell, ah-HA!

Exactly. My parents have three grandparents in a closet that are supposed to be scattered in areas, but my parents firmly believe when you die, there's nothing afterward so it's not like they'll know it wasn't done. And besides, they should have left money for a plane ticket.

She's trying to eliminate the competition by making all females simpering, straight-haired debutantes in cocktail wear.

Like this, Patti?