Are you dead of surprise yet? Here, lemme go get the defibrillator.

With the tax credit it's very cheap. 

One who doesn’t consider this particular incident to be an actual tragedy, I guess? Unlike, you know, the spurious one he’s whining about funding a wall for.

It was after scolding the aide for forgetting to bring his 2:30AM Big Mac, and before saying “NocollusionbuildthewalllockherupMAGAcovfefezzzzz” upon returning to sleep.

If you can add a ‘sin tax’ onto liquor and cigs, why not guns? Isn’t killing a sin?

Of course Nazi Barbie Nielsen would’ve been in on it. Of course she was.

He wants it to be a red state.

This Splinter piece

Over/under on how long before America leads the world in school lancings?

This makes so much sense. I think every US citizen age 18 to 65 should be required to own, and to be proficient in the use of, a halberd; and should report twice a month to their town commons for an afternoon of halberd drill and general LARPing. Ale will be served. Let’s get that into the Constitution, people.

Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: MAN!
Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I’m 37.
Arthur: What?
Dennis: I’m 37! I’m not old!
Arthur: Well, I can’t just call you “man”.
Dennis: You could say “Dennis”.
Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn’t bother to find…

Too damn greedy. 

Sometimes, when my tongue is firmly in cheek, I wonder if we’d be better off with this kind of warfare. Sure, they’ll be more people missing limbs and having horrendous injuries they survive, but damnit if you don’t have to plan for the violence instead of just throwing it around.

So forcing people to pay for government insurance to lower cost of insurance for everyone (including themselves)? TYRANNY! RESPECT OUR PERSONAL FREEDOM!!!! GOVERNMENT OVERREACH!!!!!!!!!!

America: We could have saved it but were too damn cheap and too damn stupid.

I didn’t watch it, mostly so I wouldn’t have to listen to him mispronounce “Taoiseach” and then make a stupid joke about it. Actually can’t watch trump for more than a few seconds w/0 being “triggered.” 

Fake President says what? Nearly every mass shooting is carried out by white extreme racist middle aged men.

Biff is addicted to Twitter. He’d never log off unless someone took his phone away.