I don't smoke, because I work in the legal field, but I do plan to bring my flask and wear the sluttiest clothes I own.

My parents are going, and I'm an only child. I'd never hear the end of it. I plan to bring vodka.

I think you should demand that they submit to a piss test before they get their free turkey dinner.

Bless your heart.

At the least we could paint stinky lines around her, so that everyone knows she smells like assholery.