But that’s only because it was the truth. The whole premise of “she wasn’t raped” in the book was basically, “She’s a big slutty slut and she definitely would have wanted it,” plus that tenuous stuff about how Tom’s injury meant he couldn’t possibly have bruised that side of her face. We as readers know that she was a…

No problem! It’s a confusing system at first.

Wait...so you’re not supposed to squint one eye and tilt your chin down so that you can still see your computer screen and carry on typing through the yawn?

When my sister was about 3, my uncle’s cat scratched her, and she had to get stitches on her face. My Dad went in with her to hold her head steady while they did it. Apparently the whole time, she stared up at him, crying, and saying, “Why are you letting them do this, Daddy? Why are you helping?”

Oh OK, phew! Way to take care of yourself like a champ!

Hahaha, I was going to suggest that possibly Jez is actively following new people to...fill in some gaps.

That makes a lot more sense. I’ve seen tons of comparisons to Archer and Always Sunny, and it’s really not like those shows at all. I’ll rewatch some of it and see if I get a better read. Thanks!

Hm. OK now that you say that, I may have to give it another try. I didn’t like it much - I didn’t hate it either, I was just kind of meh - but now I wonder how much of that was influenced by the fact that people keep posting on fb about how hilarious it is, and I just spent the whole time being like, “No. It is not.”

I think that alconleigh made a new burner called “the ghost of alconleigh” to say she got banned. They are still around on subblogs though, under their original burners.

Yeah, every now and then I will see a huge load of minion merchandise or hear about it on kinja, but other than that, I am totally Minion-free.

Obviously Abbi and I are not best friends, so I have no idea what she is thinking, but I sort of thought...obviously Broad City is never going to get an Emmy nom. There is no way. It is a weird stoner comedy with plots that center around pegging. Absolutely not.

I’ve loved being a bridesmaid for every wedding I’ve been in. I’ve heard toasts that I thought were really beautiful. I don’t actually have children, but I’ve had a blast dancing with little ones at a number of weddings. Your opinions are not universal, and your cruel negativity is as off-putting as it is consistent.

I was in grammar school during Clinton’s presidency, and my social studies teacher used to call him “That Troll in the White House.” While teaching us about civics. So...yay for venom across the ages?

I feel like people are not acknowledging that this totally could have been a real post. Jezebel doesn’t have the greatest history of holding to its own standards, and Hollywood absolutely would OK this casting. I thought maybe it might be satire, but I don’t feel like it’s unreasonable that you didn’t. If the only…

My mom’s menopause kicked up a notch right before a family bike trip. The poor woman spent four days cycling up and down hills with hot flashes. As the oldest, I heard about it the most, so I was the only one not surprised when my mom crested a hill, stopped, threw her bike, and ripped off her shirt.

I always thought that if I started a tampon brand, our commercials would be, like, a desperate group of humans in the jungle, being hunted, picked off, blood fucking everywhere...and then at the end, something like, “Need something that can handle those blood-drenched nightmares? Use our brand!”

Also I am pretty sure that women only sync up if there are no men around. If there is a guy in the living space - or if one or more of the women spends a lot of time with a man - their cycles distance themselves as much as possible, so that they are ovulating at different times.

Wait...have you gone to a doctor about that? It’s definitely worth checking out. Not getting your period can be an important signifier of other issues. And (if you care about this at all, which you might not) not having your period for a long time can, in certain situations, mess with future fertility.

I think that, like poop, the “gory details” of your period are a good indicator of health in general. So while I’m not going to spend 20 minutes using purple prose to precisely depict the exact shade and consistency of my blood, information like, “I’m really clotting today,” or “It was particularly heavy this month”…

I’m really astonished that people identify as “light smokers” while smoking 5 a day. Like, I had a period when I was friends with a smoker and smoked maybe three cigarettes a week, and I would have described myself as a light smoker on a survey. Surely if you’re smoking every day, you’re a smoker?