You could have done better than porn with the sound quality of a dubbed Gamera film.

There is a 7th horcrux he didn't intend to make. It lies attached to the soul of John Edward Thomas Moynahan.

You should change the headline to "Yankees further alienating player that they will depend on during the season."

Losing to the Bucks by 26? I'd fake an injury to get out of that embarrassment too.

Some of these are physically painful to read. But I guess all kids suffer from grand delusions, and only some people have those delusions be about who would go on a date with them.

Speaking of Easterbrook and the Seahawks, has he yet informed us of the Football Gods stance on committing a defensive penalty on every play? That seems like something they would frown on, yet the Seahawks are 2 games away from repeating as Super Bowl champs.

He just needed to smack her, accuse her of humiliating him in public, and purchse Yankees tickets on a loud phone conversation to hit the Platonic Douche.

You want just the tip?

Did they also fine Shaq for making Kazaam?

I guess someone can't walk and accept papers at the same time.

Some people just have a desire to touch themselves when in front of a camera.

Harbaugh has obviously never dealt with an autistic child. Do you know the type of enthusiasm required to know every Cabinet member of every President by the time you're 9 years old?

I cannot even conceive of the greed necessary to attempt to steal everything your child has. And this goes a step further by stealing everything he has and a lot of stuff he doesn't have yet. Un-fucking-believable.

I guess things aren't really bigger in Texas.

I'd coach the Pro Bowl. Why? No matter how poorly I do, I can't possibly be embarrassed because it's the Pro Bowl.

I understand wanting to use tear gas on OSU fans as a general principle, but c'mon, you at least have to let them fuck up before you do it.

The problem with making money as an athlete is that other people know that you aren't too broke to cover your share of the weed.

If you're going to talk about him being dumb, please focus on the dumbest thing he did - being on a Mets podcast.

Is it just me, or do you imagine that a headbutt is inolved in sex for it to be a true "Gronking"?

They also dont know what an infographic is based on the #warriorinfograhic tag on the picture.