They did suck. But they set me up well for real life. People would call me a wuss, and I could give a response that started with "Oh yeah? Well, back in high school..." You know, the sort of response any real, tough man will give.

Killing all of your momentum in the pros is usually a good way to get tackled. Defenders are a lot better and won't get fooled so easily and usually there are defenders not too far from the play that could catch up. Getting 5-10 extra yards and getting tackled is better than the slim chance of busting the play wide…

This is some excellent performance art.

The snow was magical when you were young enough to sled with abandon. Once you get to 30, intentionally hitting kids is frowned upon.

Even ESPN can't bring themselves to care about the stakes. I suppose it's only slightly better than typing "Feel less shame than our opponent" as the stake.

They should just make Jamaal Charles the QB. He's going to get it every play anyway, so you might as well do it intentionally.

Three years without a test? What do they think those swabs are, FSU football players?

When the time comes, I plan on nominating "Butthole Eaten At Lions Tailgate" and hope for the caption "The Matt Millen years left a taste in fans mouths that's hard to get out".

It actually gave him a reverse concussion. It improved his cognitive abilites and made him realize that expecting that offensive line to protect him is a fools errand.

"Being hit by a car" wasn't #1, which means these rankings are wrong.

Remember when he sprained his knee in the 2011 NFC Championship game and couldn't come back, and his teammates made him cry, then everyone questioned how much he cared?

So this is a fight for second and third in a biggest loser contest?

And here I thought it was all an excuse to post Simpsons quotes.

He's sometimes insightful. But...

Unlike Homer, I know my strengths and weaknesses.

Why do I always hear parents say "I hope my child doesn't have the same problems I did while growing up"? I always think "Really? Wouldn't you be good at dealing with those? Don't you have practice with those problems?" I mean, if my kid came up to me and said "Dad, there are four girls that like me and I can't…

Florida Man goes on a trip...

Foster went left, Savage went right, offensive linemen went "what's a block?"

A quiet Moss gathers no flags.

I don't think it's fair for Santa to judge the behavior of a bunch of guys with CTE.