Cockatoos are evil fuckers that strip the cladding off houses and steal bread off my plate when I’m eating outside.

Something I learned in Louis’s preschool was the saying ‘mamas always come back.’

Grade: A (You date Betty White.)

They hate women for their freedoms.

But I want a Barbie ‘ life in the dreamhouse”movie!! it’s my favorite thing about my part-time nanny job.

Jesus Christ, no kidding. It’s been years and years since I quit, and I’d smoke again in a heartbeat if they were safe. I loved smoking.

Right? Quit mapping genomes already, and deliver a healthy cigarette, scientician assholes.

Do they not have real bakeries in LA? If I were a neighbor, I would be saying, “Fuck you, rich boy, and your janky supermarket pies.”

This is a sad, not funny story, but Thanksgiving is always a little bittersweet for me because it was the holiday I realized my first marriage was over.

Just want to point out that, contrary to the commercials, the burgers are NOT better at Hungry Jack’s. Also, there’s these gems were inflicted upon Australian children everywhere waking up to watch Cheez TV (RIP).

Whenever I read his name, I did that fantasy/sci fi book thing where you treat word you cannot pronounce like a pictograph - you recognize, you know what it means/refers to but you have no clue what it supposed to sound like.

“have mercy”

women be gosspin’

They are legit the only reasons I check Jez every damn day now. wtf

The musings of John Donne clearly have a huge influence over the Kardashian family. Their guiding light, if you will.

It’s fucking blue and black! Do not start with that shit again.

Seriously. I’m straight sized and it’s sometimes hard to find natural fibres that don’t cost an arm and a leg, with plus size clothing it wm s the problem is even worse. Polyester needs to die.

Women’s clothing seems to be one of the only retail industries where they treat customers with money to spend like total shit and it’s considered acceptable. I’m not plus size but I have short legs with muscular calves. When I went to buy tall boots this year the salesman said loudly “we have NOTHING that will fit YOU…

I think that she is trying to pressure them to carry the full range of sizes AND display them together, just as clothes for women, as opposed to the strange standard of size-based segregation.