LOUDER FOR THE FOLKS IN THE BACK! This look is not for you, duder. It is strictly for my whimsical 36 year old ass.

Ugh Keaton’s casting in this is so meta I can barely stand it.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH *runs to bathroom urgently to peee* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA *inhale* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHA FUCK YOUUUUUU TRUMP.

There is absolutely a popcorn emoji.

By “same” he means “white,” right?

And my crush on him deepens.

3/4/17. Shit is new af.

RIGHT? It would almost be hilarious if it wasn’t such a sad cliche. THESE KIDS TODAY! GET OFF MY LAWN! Barf City.

OR! Give it to ME! I deserve it. I have been sooooo good. And I would spinster the shit out of that place.

Or, you know, shut the fuck up about other people’s haircuts and let people live?

Jesus fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking christ. Here’s your plus 1 punk point, you crusty, jaded old asshole. It’s so good to know that people my age (possibly even older since you brought up the provenance of your fucking Crass tshirt) are fucking out of touch and condescending and shitty about younger people. When I was coming…

No.

Hi we’re best friends now.

Soooooooooooo. Can we talk about how a few months ago my nearest and dearest brunch spot in Nashville got turned into a Sheryl Crow themed restaurant called Wylee’s and now it is closed forever because it was a colossal failure?

You’re literally awful.

And I’m sure you’ll turn a blind eye when your gay neighbors have their rights taken and your Muslim neighbors are placed on a registry and then hauled off to camps.

If Werner Spitz said that I did it, I’d fucking believe him. That dude is a God in his field.

I love how she smoked and smoked and smoked and smoked.

Weird. I performed a Patti Smith song on Saturday and was similarly nervous.

I was gonna say peppermint but duh lavender.