Anchor Julie Stewart-Binks suggested he should dance for her.

Stantastic Fart is one of my favorite loud and deadly bands.

Bettman should thank whatever God he believes in that Scott didn’t club him over the head with the trophy and then run over his body with the car.

If ‘Megatron’ keeps his word, that leaves his career numbers as follows: 83* touchdowns on 731* receptions for 11,619* yards.

I feel his pain. I plan on watching the Super Bowl with 11 or 12 screwdrivers in my hand.

Giselle: “My husband cannot throw the fucking ball and catch balls in the face at the same time.”

Sebastian Vollmer and Marcus Cannon went to bat for their coach today, but unfortunately were unable to prevent DeGuglielmo from being sacked.

“I would almost challenge them to like be like ‘You know what, get a 15-yarder in the first half. Or a 10-yarder. Really, just any kind of completion would be good, Peyton.”

Reached for comment, Kevin Love said, “I can’t really defend his firing. Or the job he did as coach. ...Actually, I can’t defend anything. Please don’t ask me to.”

Reached for comment, Cavs Superstar LeBron James said, “The team is going to miss Dave and all the hard work he has done. But I promise the city of Cleveland: we will not stop until we find an even more talented individual to serve as team waterboy for the rest of the season.”

When asked for comment, LeBron James replied, “who?”

To hear the Seahawks and Aaron Rodgers tell it, you’d think the NFC championship matchup was decided entirely by Cletes.

Meanwhile Larry Bird is still reading “Windows for Dummies” trying to get his computer out of MS-DOS mode.

That’s for you to ask the Flames...

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

Blair Walsh Lived A Kicker’s Nightmare

Chris Kluwe is running around his house like he won the Super Bowl.

I wouldn’t be so quick to blame Vontaze for such a monumental lapse in judgement.

Yes - thankfully there’s karma, as this hockey fan found out the hard way: