Nope. You will organize said sock drawer, he will tell you it's wrong and FINISH the wine. Good times await.

THIS IS JUST LIKE A JANE AUSTEN BOOK. Becky, I love you.

That linked article was VERY illuminating. Thanks.

Hahaha! O.K. first, I'm going to take a shower and wash off the scum line this prosecutor's office has given me. Second, I'm going to wear my gun all day. The big one. Third, I'm going to take my kids for a nature walk where I don't have to make bullshit small talk with anyone. Exactly who do these men think they are?…

So, eve had to give up her bad-assery so that wall-e could get some? Bullshit.

Norsemen in the early viking age? 1300 years ago?

We ARE going to get that attitude in reaction from everyone, everywhere (at some point). If I can get over my 'joke kiss' from Burt Reynolds. Hahaha, choked sob*.

I love that quote/reaction too, but it's not what everyone wants to hear. "I'm gay", *crickets*. I had a dear friend come out to me and I reacted with faux shock, then laughter at something I thought was well understood between us for so long. It was explained to me how mean I was because I was the only person he had…

You all think Florida is the basket of crazy. Americans, I introduce Georgia. It will come to haunt you.

Warrior maidens/mothers; we must become unified. This is a good thing to bond over. Great grandmother (born 1898), single mastectomy, pre 1970. What had she gone through? Nothing good.

You're tired.

I cannot BELIEVE you are rutabaga hatin'.

I think embarrassing your children is one of the richest rewards that this life can offer. Example: my father would sometimes pick me up from school. On a bicycle.

Safely harnessed orgasms are the best orgasms. Where's my helicopter?

I have had to sign 2 of these (one for for Starbucks!) and I am OVERJOYED that I will never have to work for these overlords ever again. At this point, I am convinced it is a measure to indenture the lower class. (You can quit/be fired), but never work for us again. Thanks!? I'm still not starving in the street,…

God doesn't give you more than you can handle....Suicide? He doesn't?

The one true asshole of the avian world is the bald eagle. An opportunistic bird with a bad disposition. I will eat one if I get the chance.

I would eat a person. As long as they were cooked right.

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" Good feelings back.

Voldemort and Moriarty.