Something with a breathalyzer might help Clippy keep you out of trouble in those situations, too. "Have you been drinking heavily and watching When Harry Met Sally... again? You need further help than my programming can provide. Dialing 'Mom'."

In at least the former two cases, those are definitely in the category of things that more than one past versions of me screwed up on. I think the note going forward still would've helped.

Lol, so I'm making you dinner, and you're all like "it better be good Lady, or I am outta here!" To be honest, picky eaters are one of my biggest turn offs. Yeah, I can't...you can do whatever you want in your own home but if you're going to be with other people you need to grow up. If I invite you over for dinner,…

i

Firstly, I would just love to have the balls to invite someone over, set the table nicely, and present them with a table with a goddamn roasted book on it. Worth it.

He goes "No, I KNOW what tempura is, what's THAT?"

This story is made all the more incredible by your user name.

This is the story of how I broke several state laws and had a miserable time.

Went out with this guy for a couple of dates, and when he invited me to his apartment for beers after dinner, well, I was game.

The GWIM WEEPER??

So this didn't involve any actual sex, but I invited a guy I'd seen a couple times in for a nightcap. I poured us a couple of drinks and went to use the bathroom, expecting to come out and talk a bit, make out, see where things went. He apparently had a different idea because I came out of the bathroom to find him…

*Sigh*

I am a hetero male, and the article headline is the exact opposite of my thinking. Cardigans are hot, is what I'm saying. 'I hate hollywood' is something else I'm saying.

Sexiest cardigan I have ever seen.

Can we just clarify something for the sake of anatomical correctness, unless you bring gynecological tools along, you can't sun bathe you're vagina. Your vulva, sure. You labia minora, sure. Clit, sure.