My mom decided to take away my Ken doll after she caught me making him and Barbie 69 (why did I know about that!?) but whatever mom, my little brother had Mac Steel dolls and he was hotter anyways!

Best hashtag EVER

No kidding. Those Kens must be superglued there or some shit.

I had a 12" Luke Skywalker doll, omg did he get so much action. Pretty in Pink Barbie would go to work and he'd get it on with Dorothy from Oz, and my UK Sindy doll. While the poor Princess Leia doll usually got hooked on drugs, pregnant and institutionalized and died. And of course Barbie would walk in on Luke in bed…

Mine got totally nasty, dirty with my Michael Jackson doll constantly.

been there done that haha

Hah! I just commented above that I cut off my Golden Girl Barbie's hair and had her take the place of Ken in the sex play. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Everybody thinks this scene from True Detective is a sign that Mitch's daughters were sexually abused but clearly it's just natural play that's shown as an allegory.

Should I be embarrassed that my crayons had a sex life?

People gave me Barbies all the time as a little girl and I hated them. They stayed in their Barbie case prison with all their accessories, but my Ken dolls were always naked and carrying each other around.

Ripped the legs and arms off to use as silverware for a buffet. The arms were forks and the legs were salad tossers.

My Barbies lived a dramatic life. I had two male dolls - a Ken and an angry looking Action Man. So Action Man would be the withholding, abusive husband, until Barbie ran into the arms of Ken, who was usually another Barbie's husband at the time. There was rape, murder, the occasional covert mission, and more than a…

Yep! Here too! Bizarre love triangles and mean-girl tricks and slut shaming, all long before those were common buzz words. Gee, if we blame Barbie for our terrible body images, can I also blame her for my terrible relationships??

My Barbies were a dark and scary bunch. Not only were there warring factions among them, but there would be regular palace coups, usually involving a lot of nudity and bondage and the occasional public execution. Meanwhile, the My Little Ponies were always either leading military campaigns or doing disaster…

My sister and I chewed Ken's feet for no apparent reason.

I like to load my Barbies into the dream car and push them down flights of stairs.

You disgust me.

I was too young when I learned about the Holocaust. I shaved all my Barbies and placed them on a cookie sheet, just as my mother was walking into the kitchen. I can't imagine the look on her face when she learned that her little girl was "playing Shoah."

My Kens were subjected to left-leg amputation as soon as they…

My Barbies had so much dirty sex with other dolls. I had a Barbie who had sex with a Strawberry Shortcake "Huckleberry Pie" doll.

Now I must try the lip lacquer. I am a sucker for a stain -Revlon's just bitten line is the only lip color I will wear these days as lipstick feels awful and hates my lips.