That sounds an awful lot like a Jimmy Carr joke.

Can we agree not to talk about Ivanka’s bust, just in case her dad is reading this? We know he has nothing better to do with his time and the last thing we need is for him to drum up a Twitter storm about his daughter’s breasts. *shudder*

Right, but none of that excuses her bad fashion sense. Amirite?

Yes, but this is Beyonce. In the world of hella tacky birth announcements, trust that hers would be the hellaest tackiest.

It’s pretty common for the age (I’m a former daycare teacher and I worked with that age for many, many years), but usually preschoolers are satisfied with the simple answers (“mommy and daddy put it in together” as you said) at that age.

Sounds like he needs some advice from The Reductress:

I don’t think your piss should be that colour. You should look into that.

Sounds like you haven’t changed much. Good you’re not bitter though.

I want to make it clear that I in no way wish anyone dead (I usually don’t have to clarify that), but I read a lot of cozy mysteries (the kinds with pun titles, or else they’re all called “Death of a ....” something), and this is exactly the sort of situation that comes up in the first chapter. Next this woman will…

Wow. So your logic is he MUST live in a rural place (again, have you ANY evidence of that?) because, according to you, ALL rural dwellers are predisposed to backwards views on sex crimes, and NO urban dwellers are similarly inclined, EVEN if they are the captain of a police precinct in Brooklyn, NY?

But you’re just making it up that he lives in the suburbs, and that his suburban living is somehow an excuse or an explanation for his statements about rape. This is all in your head, mate. You’ve created a narrative for this guy and applied stereotypes to him to fit that narrative. Have you got receipts for ANY of…

Sorry, I don’t think I understand your point. First of all, are you suggesting the police chief for the middle of Brooklyn probably lives in Pennsylvania? Second, exactly what difference would that make? Living outside the area (according to you) makes him magically not care about the victims of the one specific crime…

“If there’s a true stranger rape, a random guy picks up a stranger off the street, those are the troubling ones. That person has, like, no moral standards.”

It’s cool. Wedding weddings aren’t for everyone.

For me “I don’t have the money” definitely means “I don’t have $10K”

If you choose to do it in accordance with the wishes of the Catholic sky wizards and their own rules governing what makes that marriage legit (to them), that’s a CHOICE you’re making.

Does your grandmother Uber?

I mean, I don’t love weddings in general, but I think a lot of people still want to get married in churches. Or outside. And a lot of people live in smaller cities or towns where the only hotel options might be fine for a reception but would be absolutely crappy for a ceremony or photos.

So everyone needs to get married IN hotels, you think? I...I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I mean, I’ve never been to any wedding where the entire ceremony and reception took place all within the hotel where guests could stay.

Well, do any of us, really? I mean, we don’t know her...