Would that really be any different from buffet-style? They’d have the salads to start. I think the pizza truck people have faced this challenge before.

I understand where you’re coming from, but this is our problem:

True story: I became agnostic on my way home from a Southern Baptist mission trip. To Germany, birthplace of Protestantism, but anyhow. The plane had a science program on in-flight radio about how ants have agriculture and domesticate other insects. My 13 year old brain suddenly lost the ability to fathom the…

Also, this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

We had state competitions in Bible Drill: chapter and verse is called out and the point goes to the person who looks it up the fastest. Like, literally all you could do to prep was know how the use a Bible.

I want to add to this discussion: people feel free to ignore the meanings of words lately. MCDONALD’S is offering ARTISAN chicken and the radio is playing URBAN COUNTRY. Not my radio, but you know.

My MIL doesn’t know about bathe. She wanted to know if she could bath the baby.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but hell. Imma say it again. They don’t know shit about the Bible. None of them ever read it. They’re all such big fans of God but can’t be arsed to read the book he wrote.

I teach freshmen comp. This is 80% of why I don’t let them choose their on research paper topics. I couldn’t take another smug smirk and an “I’ll just change my topic” when I tried to explain how their pro-life/pro-war/pro-death penalty argument relied on circular logic.

That’s what my boss said when he hired me at Baskin Robbins (“it’s an easy job, all the customers are so happy”) but no. We got a lot of special snowflakes at the Baskin Robbins. The worst was the woman who wanted chocolate ice cream, but from the chocolate and white chocolate blended barrel, but no white chocolate…

What did the pre-melted chocolate look like? Do tell!

I’m pretty sure she’s my aunt. Who is southern. If she is my aunt, she thinks she’s doing everyone a favor by dispensing her advice because she’s rich and we’re not and therefore she’s better and we could use the help.

Remember that summer about a hundred million years ago when BK offered table service and free popcorn while you waited? Was it that summer?

This is the funniest damn thing I’ve read all day.

Maybe, just maybe - and I’m digging deep from my repository of British dramatic television here - maybe she has a vile relative or manipulative ex-lover in the wedding party who knows the groom can’t hold his liquor and fed him “virgin” drinks laced with grain alcohol all night to ruin the wedding in an underhanded…

I agree, favors are dumb. I got a big bucket of local blackberry honey, put them into sweet little jars with a label I printed, tied a wooden honeydripper thing to each one, and half the guests didn’t even take one. Four years later we’re still opening those jars.

This guy told his server he was a VIP because he sold monogrammed thermos. It was in a restaurant that had connections to the mob 75 years ago and he was afraid of being gunned down for his importance to the world or something.

Don’t feel bad; I’ve dated a few guys just like your parents: totally respectful of workers’ time and feelings every where else, but with some weird fetish for leaving popcorn bags and empty cups on stadium seats. I always get up with the bag in my hand, ready to throw it way, and get nagged into leaving it. No idea…

Hahahaha subtitles. True. But I saw it in south Georgia. I waited three weeks after opening and went on a Tuesday night, hoping to avoid the Christians, and that theater was packed. SRO. The worst part was that halfway through it this crying competition got going in the audience to see who could cry the loudest and…

Diaphragm always worked for me, but the fail rate is higher than other forms and really depends on your anatomy. I’ve been told I have the right kind of lady parts for a diaphragm. The cool thing about them is they double as a cup when you’re on your period. Or maybe that’s the gross thing about them. That probably…